Dear person who purchased a subscription to Us Weekly:
We don’t know who you are, where you are from, what brought you to our blog, or what made you decide to purchase a subscription to US Weekly from Amazon.com.
But we sincerely hope that you enjoy your purchase. You made a good choice. US Weekly is a fine magazine. We are sure that it will bring you great happiness in the coming year.
You are the first person to make an Amazon.com purchase through our website. We salute you, unknown Us Weekly subscriber. You have our gratitude and respect.
We will be investing the $2.06 we earned from this transaction in the stock market. We’re going to purchase a little piece of Rakuten Inc., a Japanese company with an awesome name.